i hate being single. it's not for me

ugh

[D]e lo que es amar

para amarte necesito una razon
y es dificil creer que no exista
una mas que este amor
sobra tanto dentro
de este corazon
que a pesar de que dicen
que los anos son sabios
todavia se siente el dolor
porque todo el tiempo
que pase junto a ti
dejo tejido su hilo dentro de mi
y aprendi a quitarle al tiempo
los segundos tu mi hiciste
ver el cielo aun mas profundo junto
a ti creo que aumente mas de
3 kilos con tus tantos
dulces besos repartidos
dessarollaste mi sentido
del olfato y fue por ti que
aprendi a querer los gatos
despegaste del cemento
mis zapatos para escapar
los dos volando un rato.
pero olvidaste una final
instruccion porque aun
no se como vivir sin tu amor
y descubri lo que
significa una rosa
me ensenaste decir
mentiras piadosas
para poder a verte
a horas no adecuadas
y a reemplazar palabras
por miradas
y fue por ti que escribi mas
de 100 canciones
y hasta perdone tus
equivocaciones
y conoci mas de mil formas de besar
y fue por ti que descrubi
lo que es amar
lo que es amar...

[O]f a morning

Today....
I woke up to this:












And I felt like this:

[D]el Amor

Yo pienso que en realidad en los veinte anos de mi vida, nunca habia estado enamorado...hasta ahora. Son cosas pequenas que me dicen y me hablan del amor. Un email, una llamada, un libro, un recuerdo. A veces pienso que el amor es una jodienda, o una fuerza que se nos apodera y nos ciega. Pero pienso que hay que aprovecharse de la ceguez y entonces usar los sentidos que se convierten mas poderosos. Los olores del mundo, los sabores de la tierra, la musica de la vida, y el sentido de otro ser.

En estos dias tan dificiles, cuando un amor tan fuerte se tiene que esconder, se tiene que resistir por las miles millas entre los dos seres, no puedo contener mi felicidad, mi sorpresa, ni mi amor, cuando abro mi gaveta y encuentro un mensaje directo desde Italia.

"te quiero, baby."

Asi lee el papel...y es lo unico que nesecito para saber que estos meses iran muy rapido...y muy pronto me volvere a reunir con el amor tan bello, verde, encantador y intoxicante que tuve con el chico liamsito.

[O]f the first day

...of classes that is.

Today I had two beautiful moments.

The first was walking towards cfa, listening to sigur ros...i began to feel grains falling on me. I looked around and realized that it was hail...something I had never experienced. The whole thing was very surreal...and the fact that I was heading towards cfa made it all the more weird.

The next one was when I realized how much symmetry there is in the physical world.


Classes are good. Today was long. too damn long.

[O]f Borracho

Day 1 in Boston invluded tears, sweat and alcohol to say the least.

brokeback mountain made me yearn for a love like ennis and jack's and cry like a little girl.

then 24 made my herart race once more.

then mike and josh made me laugh like 2005...circa march.

a rollercoaster of emotions day. yet i cant shake the beauty and love of brokeback.

not a single more tear

[O]f Updates

On the right of the webpage is a place where you can write your email so that everytime I update, you get an email saying that I've updated the blog. Subscribe and create a Gmail label. Doooo it.

I got a Canon Digital Rebel XT. Me very happy.

Year Photo look coming soon.

ciao

[O]f '06 Resolutions

Maybe this time I'll actually keep up these resolutions and in the next year look back and proudly see how much I have accomplished. I think my current state of being will help me keep busy and try more and more new things and maybe not finish these, but at least give it a try.
So without further adieu(?), here it is:

• Keep my grades/school work up. I am taking more classes this semester than I ever have, but I know I can keep it together and survive it all. Is it wrong that I right now want to audit a sixth class? Am I crazy?
• Try out some yoga/zen meditation. Both Nicole and Isa have expressed interest in this, and I plan to make it happen, whether it is through PDPs or studios, or buying a book and some DVDs, I will try it out and see where it takes me.
• Work on more calligraphy. Liam tapped onto a little quirk of mine (saying how I like something or want to do something or try something out, but never actually do it), and has inspired me to follow through with his book and pen gift and actually get good at calligraphy. Today I went to get another book or better pens but was unable to find something worthwhile. I have been practicing all month, and I have no plans of stopping.
• Work out. Even if it means going running @ fitrec every day, I need to get into better shape. OOCS made me feel like a pig all summer with the grotesque amount of junk food they fed us, and my complete disregard for the gym. My goal isn't to lose weight as much as it is to feel better about myself, and not be so uncomfortable in my shoes.
• Save money. I cannot keep spending money like I did all last year. If I learned anything from Liam it's his non-materialism. I need to evaluate things A LOT more before giving up my cash, especially taking Production II this semester.
• Create a Prod II short that means something. And that I'm 100% proud of. A lot of work, but I think I have it in me.
• Not be afraid to be alone. Not even single, but doing thins alone; like eating at the dining hall, going shopping, going to a museum, or seeing a movie.
  
• Check my emotions at the door. I need to keep it together for the next 5 months.
• I will not allow the weather to depress me. It happened last year, and the situation of the present could add potentiality to this one, but I will not let it happen.
• Write more. In my blog, in my journal, in emails, in screenplays.
• Go to Europe. No matter what happens in my personal life, I want to travel to Europe even if it's by myself at some point this year.
• Not apologize so much. Sometimes I can hear myself apologizing and annoy myself at the moment. Believe me I do it.
  
• Try out different martinis. I just like them, and want them.
• COOK a lot more in my apartment. Try out different recipes, and try to even eat healthy.
• Keep expanding my musical tastes. I think I did pretty good this year. Now for more.
• Stop watching so much TV. Get out more.
• Go see more films at Coolidge, Brattle, and Kendall.
  

I also have a few wishes for 2006. These are different than resolutions, at least in my eyes. And whatever it's my blog so I can call whatever I want however I desire:

• Liam
• Return to NYC: I went 3 amazing times to the city in 2005. I want to return.
  
• See RENT on Broadway again. Only through rush tix of course.
  
• And on that note, seeing Sweeney Todd with better seats would be awesome too.
• Fine I want to see Wicked too....damn what's with all the musical theater? I blame the summer.
• The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. Always a good year when a new Zelda is released.
  
• Find a cheap, awesome summer home.

I have so many more wishes, dreams and resolutions for 2006, but I will stop here. The most important one?

Live my life one day at a time. Not freak out about the future. Accept things for what they are.

[O]f Favorites '05

As this year comes to an end, it is time for me to raise a glass and look back at the year 2005. This was a year when I truly grew porbably more than I ever have in the past five or so years. I learned a lot about myself, about relationships, about friends, about life, and about opening up than I've ever had before. Si la vida esta para darte sorpresas, ninguna fue mas grande de lo que me llego en este ano.

The following is a list of my favorite everything about this year, in no particular order...and of course i always forget things

Favorite Films:

• War of the Worlds
• Crash
• 40 Year Old Virgin
• King Kong
• Rent
• Serenity
  
• Capote
• Wallace and Gromit and the Curse of the Were Rabbit
• Jarhead
• Harry Potter and the goblet of fire
• Star Wars Episode III
• Batman Begins
• Walk the Line
• Sin City
• March of the Penguins
• Constantine

Favorite Cds:

• Confessions on a Dance Floor
• M.O.T.A.
• Fijacion Oral Vol. 1
• Brokeback Mountain Soundtrack
• Rent Movie Soundtrack
• Illinoise
• Extraordinary Machine
• X&Y
• The Emancipation of Mimi

Favorite Songs:

• We Belong Together
• Lose Control
• Chicago
• La Tortura
• Fake Palindromes
• Saeglopur
• First Day of my Life
• X&Y
• Ritmo que pesa
• Extraordinary Machine
• O' Sailor
• Bleed Like Me
• Behind These Hazel Eyes
• Forbidden Love
• I don't want to say goodbye

Favorite Television:

• Lost
• Arrested Development
• 24
• Project Runway 2
• The Simpsons!
• Everybody Hates Chris
• The OC
  

[O]f '05: Achievements

Happy New Year! Here bgins my posts looking back at possibly my favorite year of them all.

Greatest Achievements?

• A soaring GPA: it reached an all-time high in May, and I somehow managed to hold it together for Spring '05.
  
• SA for COM: I wanted this job from the moment I stepped foot on BU, and I managed to get it. Needless to say, it resulted in the best summer of my life.
• Summer in Boston. aka away from PR: see above. done and done.
• I got cultured in [theater]: I saw around 7 or 8 shows this year, more than my whole life combined. Four of those were on Broadway, including the fantastic Sweeney Todd. I experienced the harsh romance of the opera Carmen @ the A.R.T., the visual splendor of the Lion King, the raunchy humor of Avenue Q, and the concert stylings of Rent. I saw many of what CFA had to offer this semester, and it made me irk at anything Stage Troupe dared to put on.
  
• I got cultured in [music]: My musical preferences have drastically changed this year. From discovering artists like Rufus Wainwright, Erykah Badu, the Roots, Sufjan Stevens, Bjork, and more that I've ignored most of my life, I saw a different part of my subconcious come to light. The most interesting part of it was how I began to ignore and see how much I didn't care for some of the music I used to love.
• I saw RENT!: When I got to college everyone kept saying there was one show on Broadway that I had to see. Two and a half years later, on second row, I finally saw RENT and fell in love with what everyone already knew. Much shaming thus commenced.
• Yea am I missing anything....oh wait right.... mr. l. mulshine was the greatest one.

There are many more but these are the ones that I can think of right now.